Three summers ago, I got the itch to plant a little flower garden in our backyard after reading Floret Flower’s book, Cut Flower Garden. We live in a new development where trees are scarce so I loved the idea of adding some beauty to our yard. I was also excited to have fresh flowers on hand to make little arrangements for the house and to share with others. Little did I know I was uncovering a huge passion.
From colorful cosmos and fast-growing zinnias to towering sunflowers and delicate dahlias, I have found so much joy in cultivating these tiny seeds and watching as God turns each one into something beautiful to behold.
Up until this spring, the garden was contained to two 4×4 foot beds in our backyard. This year I decided to expand my garden to other areas of our yard – ones that others could see and enjoy besides just our family. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was going to need an extra dose of His beauty in my days to come this summer.
In June, we lost my father-in-law after his courageous 12 1/2 year battle with stage 4 colon cancer. He was very much my second dad for more than 12 years and loosing him has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. I miss his calming presence and my soul longs to hear one of his funny jokes. I miss him praying over us and hearing him play the guitar. And the thought of Lively missing out on the blessing of having him in her life as she gets older, is borderline unbearable. My heart has been so sad, but it is also anchored to the hope of heaven which has brought me more peace and comfort during this season than anything else. I know that my father-in-law accepted God’s invitation of salvation through Jesus Christ and that we will be reunited one day.
During this season of grief, the garden has remained a bright spot and source of joy. I think knowing that the flowers were waiting on me to care for them each day, really helped me get through some of the hard days. It provided a place for my soul to breathe or as one of one of my favorite blogger/author/podcasters, Emily P. Freeman, puts it: the garden gave my “invisible self some elbow room” to marvel at God’s beauty, worship and just be.
For probably the first time in my life, I haven’t wanted summer to end (have been and always will be a fall girl!). I guess because Big T (Todd Sr.) was still with me in this season and moving onto the next one means I’ll be farther away from physically being with him. He watched me plant my seeds this spring and marveled with me at the little shoots that popped up weeks later. About the time the seedlings transformed into beautiful flowers, Big T’s health rapidly declined. The last he saw of my zinnias were the ones I placed beside his bed while we were in Hospice for 8 days. I’m not sure if there are flowers in heaven (though I imagine there are lots), but I do know this:
” … He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. And He who sits on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’” Revelation 21:4-5a
As the summer garden is winding down and I’m starting to prepare for fall, I’m thankful for the grace this garden has provided myself and so many others this season. It’s served as a place for meaningful conversations and connections with friends and neighbors. It’s been a cherished place where I can go without my phone and truly unplug and listen to the Holy Spirit. Few things warm my heart more than checking on the flowers with Lively while she holds my hand. What a gift to create alongside my Creator and to cultivate beauty on this tiny piece of the earth He’s entrusted to me.
I’m thankful for this garden, precious memories with my father-in-law, this home, family, friends, oxygen, water, sunshine and a million other gifts I don’t deserve. But more than these temporary things, I’m thankful for the hope of eternal life and the forgiveness of my sins through Jesus Christ. Like the seeds I plant into the ground, He brings forth new life for all those who trust in Him. In this season marked by grief, I’m thankful for His lovingkindness that I’ve experienced through the power of His Word, the love from His people and the grace from this garden.
“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:7
Photography: Red Fly Studio
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